Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
