Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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