I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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