the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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