...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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