end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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