thus making me awesome and them whores
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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