My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can I color on your dick again?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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