I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
