Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
