the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
