I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
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Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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