I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
