I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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