Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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