I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
