before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
