all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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