I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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