take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
