WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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