don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
