just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
