So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
