I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
