we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
