It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
