True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
