I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
