sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
