Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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