do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
