Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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