Where is the hickey?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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