i just had sex bonerless
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
