The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
