couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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