Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
