No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i was born a porn star she said
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
