I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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