You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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