Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
