My room smells like vodka and shame
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
