took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
