its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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