No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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