I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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