My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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