She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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