I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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