This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
