at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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