The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
