I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
