I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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