Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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